Pro Wrestling Jobbers - Wanted Ad

We here at WWX the World Wrestling Xfederation understand that we are going through tough economic times. We are a caring company and have seen the struggling and strife going on in the world and in this very country right now. We know that the job market is tough - new positions are few and far between. But with that in mind, fear not! We are making several new positions available for any with the gall to apply.

1. Jobber number one. You need to be willing to wear a chicken suit, while pretending to do explicit things and making obscene hand gestures. Kid friendliness is important. Must be able to make Batista look good. Must be willing to bleed. Need to be at least 6'1" and have short blond hair, but not too much like Chris Jericho.

2. Jobber number two. Must be willing to dress up like a luchador and speak with a fake accent. Must provide transportation for self. Needs to be funny when drunk, so we have someone to laugh at on the long trips. Must be willing to do 15 minute bumpfest jobs to Triple H at every house show, 5 times a week. Enthusiasm is a must.

3. Jobber number three. Must be willing to carry around a ridiculous prop and act super crazy, but not like Super Crazy. Must be able to get over inane angles for their humorous value. Must be able to take a good ribbing without being bothered by it. Must not mind being put on random tag teams and in random stables for no good reason. Must not be named Al.

4. Jobber number four. Must be willing to act like you're gay, even though you're really not. Must be able to get over. Need to be able to work in ring, but not very much. Looks not important. Second generation star performed. Bring your own glitter.

5. Jobber number five. Must be willing to wear storm trooper helmet. Minimum weight of 250. Need to be able to crash through prop walls at inopportune times. Must have a deep, booming voice. If deep and booming voice is not possible we may work with you and do a voice over, if you have the right look and skillset.

That's all for right now, please send in any applications, we'll look through them and look forward to hiring a few more jobbers at once right here in the WWX.