Pro Wrestling Jobbers - Wanted Ad

We here at WWX the World Wrestling Xfederation understand that we are going through tough economic times. We are a caring company and have seen the struggling and strife going on in the world and in this very country right now. We know that the job market is tough - new positions are few and far between. But with that in mind, fear not! We are making several new positions available for any with the gall to apply.

1. Jobber number one. You need to be willing to wear a chicken suit, while pretending to do explicit things and making obscene hand gestures. Kid friendliness is important. Must be able to make Batista look good. Must be willing to bleed. Need to be at least 6'1" and have short blond hair, but not too much like Chris Jericho.

2. Jobber number two. Must be willing to dress up like a luchador and speak with a fake accent. Must provide transportation for self. Needs to be funny when drunk, so we have someone to laugh at on the long trips. Must be willing to do 15 minute bumpfest jobs to Triple H at every house show, 5 times a week. Enthusiasm is a must.

3. Jobber number three. Must be willing to carry around a ridiculous prop and act super crazy, but not like Super Crazy. Must be able to get over inane angles for their humorous value. Must be able to take a good ribbing without being bothered by it. Must not mind being put on random tag teams and in random stables for no good reason. Must not be named Al.

4. Jobber number four. Must be willing to act like you're gay, even though you're really not. Must be able to get over. Need to be able to work in ring, but not very much. Looks not important. Second generation star performed. Bring your own glitter.

5. Jobber number five. Must be willing to wear storm trooper helmet. Minimum weight of 250. Need to be able to crash through prop walls at inopportune times. Must have a deep, booming voice. If deep and booming voice is not possible we may work with you and do a voice over, if you have the right look and skillset.

That's all for right now, please send in any applications, we'll look through them and look forward to hiring a few more jobbers at once right here in the WWX.

Christian WWE Return

Cristian Cage returning to WWE is now imminent. Christian has signed with the WWE and left TNA. He will debut very soon possibly at the Royal Rumble and be on Smackdown.

Christian more than likely is the reason that Jeff Hardy has been having unfortunate accidents on WWE's show Smackdown. When Christian comes back he will help Edge at the Royal Rumble, Edge will win the WWE World Title and then Edge and Christian will destroy Jeff Hardy.

Then Edge and Christian run and control WWE Smackdown for a while until CRAZY Jeff Hardy comes back and gets all crazy all over Edge and Christian. Then Matt Hardy will show up and become involved in the feud. We will get to see Edge, Christian, Jeff Hardy, and Matt Hardy all in the Elimination Chamber for the WWE World Title.

Christian's return to Smackdown is just what it needs, totally awesome. Captain Charisma FTW baby.